1:00 PM | 03-05-20

Be proactive. That was one of my very first lessons I ever learned. Actually, “Be aware of your surroundings” was the first lesson….but being proactive goes hand in hand. I was taught to be prepared, if you knew the consequence, and it was bad, why chance it. Make sure it doesn’t happen. I did that all my life. I went to school to be educated, so I could get a good job, I did this because I knew I likes nice things, and instead of living a life of crime, I knew I needed money to pay for them. Which brings me to my next feat. I knew I didn’t children at 18, or 22, or 26, because I wanted to again, be educated, have a lot of money, and enjoy my youth for as much as possible. I did not see any consequence to this at any capacity. No one ever tells you, wait, do the right thing, but don’t wait too long. Big things in life should be planned, thought out, talked through…..but apparently there’s a time limit that no one ever tells you about. It only becomes apparent when the window is suddenly closing. 10 years ago I never heard one person say, they couldn’t have children, or im getting my eggs frozen. Maybe it was taboo, maybe those words were not in my vocabulary, I guess I just always thought, when you want to have kids, you take “out” that precaution, again, proactive, and you do. It. It is turning out that THAT is not at all the case, and not just for me, its for many many people… and women. For the past few years I have been on a rollercoaster of changes and emotional tidal waves. I’ve made 47 phone calls to insurance companies, cried my eyes out to strangers, yelled at my body, prayed more than I can remember, and asked this question more than I ever could imagine. “Was it worth it to wait this long?” I don’t know if I will ever have the answer. I can tell you right now this is more work and distress than anyone ever talks about. In my life I have learned a lot of lessons, mostly very important, I love where I am in life and I love who I have become and those who I have chosen to surround myself with. I strive to make my close peers proud, and do the right thing. But what happens, when you do the right thing, you’ve always done the right thing, and now, you are being punished in a sense that, you waited too long “doing the right thing” ?

DiRty StuFf || All ClEaN!!


ConTacT Me
AIM: happylilbunny17

Time: 1:00 PM
Date: 03-05-20
Eating:Nothing :/
Wearing:Clothes, I hope!
Hearing: Typing
Reading: Papers
Chatting w/: No one
Thinking: too much.
Wanting: so much.

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Meter Thanx for commin!! *MUAH*
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