sometimes you gotta realize what you*ve always known
12:01 AM | 09-25-03
Sometimes we must be hurt in order to grow,
We must fail in order to know,
Sometimes our visions clears
Only after our eyes
Are washed away with tears
I*ve known it all along. I just didn*t wanna believe it. This week has like totally drained me. Homecomming is just crazy, so much to do...and thigns with someone have just kinda opened up. I have so much to say, but i never have the chance to say it. We went to rink and the lights were dim and I smelt the ice....the crisp air, and the smooth ice just gleamed. An ice arena is like the best place to just think.
There*s things I have always known, but the more it builds up the more it is tearing me down. I know what I want, but I know it*s not what he wants. All this time, I tried so hard not to want it, but it happens, it was inevitable. And it did. And now I have to get out of it. We all want different things, and you can*t make someone want the same thing you do. It isn*t always their fault, it*s just not the right time. I feel like it*s a race, and everyone is at different points in the race, and sometimes you can*t ever catch up to the person. You spend so much time trying, and then eventually, you realize, you will never get to where they are. Why fall back when you are ahead. Why race through when you aren*t ready. It sucks to relaize it, it sucks it has to be this way, but standing here, waiting for something i know isnt going to happen, is wasting time. i don*t have that kinda time....and sometimes, it just isnt worth it. All the good things can*t always cover up all the bad. I*ll miss the oportunity, i*ll miss the option, I*ll miss that question in my mind that maybe I will be the one to change it. But, I won*t miss the waiting, the anticipation, not the tears, and the knowing what I have all along is not going to happen. There are signs there, and sometimes we chose not to listen, and sometimes, we chose to look at them later. i chose later, didnt make the wrong turn, but chose later to look at the signs that were always there. i gotta move on from this, and even if it isnt the right time, i have to move on. i can*t stand still...I can*t wait....and i can*t waste time wishing for something i can never have.
peace out world....
luv
Am- Thanks for the friendship, thank you for the smile. Thanks for the love you showed, though only for a while. True my heart was broken, and yes my eyes did cry, but the pain is all over now, 'cause I have learned to say good-bye...............