time to wash my sheets
10:41 a.m. | 2002-11-08
I went home Thursday because well, it was time. I havn*t gone home sonce by B-day and because I*m broke as hell as a college student and my car is lackin on the safe side, I figured it was time. I went into my room last night and looked at my room, looked at old pictures and things frm high school. I sat on my bed and realized, I still have yet to wash my sheets. After Jason cheated on me, I couldnt bar sleeping in my bed. So I would always sleep on top. My mom kept asking, why I never wanted my sheets cleaned and I told her I needed them for a little while longer. i know it*s gross. Usually I wash my sheets like every week because I just love that new smell of freshly cleaned sheets. The fact is, Jason and I sleot there so many times. I didn't ever want to wash his scent away. It*s sad really....I kept holding on. This morning i realized it was time. Nothing is gonna bring him back to me. The relationship is over. Just like the DVD player he bought me. forst week of school it fell over backwards off the dresser and broke. i mean hell...the relationship didnt werk why should the gifts he gave me? Each day gets easier. And while yah, I think about him and sometimes dream, I*m waiting for that day where I never think of him at all. I know it'll be soon. I dnot know if it will be sad or a compfort. Moving on is hard, living without something is harder. But realizing it's for the better is proabably gonna make me so much stronger than I was. I know it already partly has. I*m going to was my sheets today. I'm gonan begin to wash him out of my life. He doesnt deserve to be in my life anymore anyway. I'm going back to school today. I love it there. It's where I feel the safest and where I know my friends are. Although...I did have an intersting phone call last night from the crew @ billie's. They begged me to get up and come drink with them but, I had to sleep. i had to lay there for one last ngiht in the bed we made. The bed we slept in, and the bed that was once ours. I*ll see ya later....