how things are now
9:43 p.m. | 2001-11-07
This week has been a long and strange one. All that has happened has really taken its tole on me, and even though I still have not totally forgiven Jason for what he has done, I am slowly beginning to feel better. This weekend I am going to have a talk with my boyfriend, things need to be said, and understood. I havn't seen Jason in three weeks and even though the things that have happened have hurt me badly, I still cannot wait to see the man I love. The days dont go by fast enough...I need him to hold me and tell me he loves me, not just over the phone. Going to different schools is hard, almost as hard as my past relationships. Nothing can compare to this, its hard..and there is few things to look forward to. Sometimes theres weekends that I am happy, and other I am just waiting to get through. School is hard, I have to stay committed, to my boyfriend, my friends, family, school, and most importantly, myself. Because in the end, i*m the only one who is gonna be there to save me. I talked to my advisor today, she informed me that no one now a days graduates in four years. Yay....guess I*ll be here for what 5 more years. Gawd, all I want to do is teach 1st graders how to spell, count, read, and smile :) This stuff is tough...but I'll get through it...I have to...if not for myself...for my dreams. I need to be someone, and if that means losing Jason along the way, well then it was meant to be. My mom always tells me...whats meant to be, will be. And its true, as much as it makes me mad thinking about that, its true. Something I have to realize. Welp, I*m off to another meeting....have fun....