starting to pack
6:02 p.m. | 2001-08-09
It*s what...the 9th today. That means there's only 12 more days left with Jason and the town, friends, and so many things I have been used to for the past 18 years. Everyday I see Jason's smile fade, and everytime he squeezes me tight and tells me how much he'll miss me I sigh and smile. I htink about how much I will miss everyone and everything, and how god damn afraid I am to finally be going to college. I began packing up my room today. I stood in the middle and just looked around for things to throw in a box. I glanced over at the many frames with photographs of my friends I have, the candels, cds, stuffed animals, and clutters of junk that I have saved over the years. I can't explain it all or where it all came from but I know that it has its home in my room. My room has always been my sancuary and packing up memories to take to another 12x12 home two hours away can be a bit saddening. I*ll miss my room, I'll miss my home. I*ll miss everything that I have become to attatched to. I just don't know what to do these next few days. I keep thinking that if i don;t prepare the time will never come....the time I have to say goodbye. i*m leaving at 10 AM on the 22nd. Jason is leaving too, fo Big Rapids. That's 6 hours away from where I will be. I will miss him. I'll miss him for all the reasons thats keeps us together and mostly because there is that horrible fear of not knowing. No knowing who he will meet, who he will fall in love with, and wether or not he will still think of me. I can't help this....I knew this would all happen. Getting involved with Jason was a really great thing, and I have had more fun this summer than any before. But as its winding down I feel like I am losing so much, Jason, who I have spent almost my entire summer with and the last part of my senior year in highschool is leaving me....as I always knew he would. This is all so hard, and I know people face this kind of disapointment everyday. It just sux it has to happen to me, and so soon. I8ll keep updating...hopefully someone is reading this and people keep writing me e-mail with their thoughts. They really help. Welp thanx....