it's almost time
4:59 p.m. | 2001-08-16
I*m so afraid right now....Soon...very soon. Less than a week I will be leaving for college. Now that I htink baout it, I have to wonder how I came to this. It started out that i was going to move to Ohio to be closer to Jared....then it was staying home for a year, now its college and leaving everything. I can't believe this...its all happening so fast. it's like I have the summer time memories and soon it will all be over. Summer was great...its that season that everyone is happier and always around but sadly they can't all stay. The sun eventually goes down, the people leave, and then finally things begin to fade till the next year. Everyday I pack a bit more, Jason gets a bit more crabby, and I get a bit more sadder. I know the day s comming when he will be hugging me goodbye in my driveway. I'll stand out in the road and cry and wave my hand goodbye. Then, later I will be pulling out of that same driveway...with my car filled with boxes and Tvs, the same driveway that I laid on my car and watched the fireworks when I was 16, the same one that all my dates have pulled into before prom or a date. The same driveway i scribbled on with colored chalk. I can't tell you how much this is hurting me right now. Leaving a place I have always known to a place I am so unfamiliar with. I know people do it all the time, but for me...change is bad. well not always but now, it seems lie it. I don't want to let go of Jason and see if everything will be the same later on. Times like this, i almost need to talk to someone like Jared. He just knows me better than myself sometimes and I need him to tell me everyhting will be fine. Is that some fuhk-dup stuff or what?! UGH...and to top everything off...tomorrow I have to get two fuhking shots. My MMR and my Meningitous (Sp?) Thankfully Jason is taking off work to be there. Its going to be bad...hopefully I won't imbarass myself by puking all over the floor. Well I better go...pray for me tomorrow at 10:30 AM....EEEeeKK!! *Cries* Bye
Am-
XOXOXO