life too short?
12:09 PM | 09-19-04
where do i begin? Things have been pretty messed up lately. Getting my wisdom teeth was a total breeze...couldnt have went better. Brandon has been taking care of me while i devour countless ammounts of banana popcicles & watching Sex & The City. It*s been nice...I*m all caught up on my homework and while my relationship with Brandon is going great...my friends are just....well not there. Once again I am proven wrong about my relationships i have with other people. They are NEVER what they see to be. I have become completly uncompfortable around them...distant...and not wanting to open up for the fear of their criticism. I feel like i am walking on egg shells....when i talk or ask something....i get nothing but negative feedback and everything i do wrong is totally torn apart. It*s just gotten to the point where i am uncompfortable...and the only person who i can talk to and be myself is my boyfriend. Nothing wrong with that....but sometimes a girl needs other girls to talk to...and she shouldnt be afraid. I don*t know what has happened to people, or myself. When did this develop? I have always tried to be there for my friends...and while i would expect them to do the same...it just isnt that way. Maybe they don*t have the time...maybe they have more important things to fill their little lives with then friendships...and maybe the brutal truth is, my friends no longer want a friendship with me. I just don*t know...i do know...that i would rather knwo the truth...even if it is brutal...then all this fake feelings. I don*t want to waste my time and theirs with people who could give a damn about me. I have alot of wonderful people in my life...and i am sick of trying to figure out if people are truelly sincere or not. I guess this really is true: "A person's true character is shown by how they treat someone who cannot do anything for them."
For now, I*m going to comcentrate on my life and the things that mean the most to me....I am no longer going to go the distance or make an effort to make it work with my friendships. There are PLENTY of people out there....and I*m sick of wasting my time with the people who are just wasting theres....for nothing....life really is too short.