new boobs
11:17 PM | 02-23-04
So it*s done...the surgery is over...here*s what happened. Thursday, February 19th i woke up and got ready for my long ass day...surgery, and a long road to recovery. Sam, my mum and I got ready and headed to the hospital at 1pm, I remember riding in sam*s car thinking, i may never drive away fromthis place...I didn*t want to die, obviously i didnt, i was just nervous. I remember being in an upbeat mood...i had a good attitude. I walked through halls of the hospital....not nervous...not yet...it didn*t hit till I reached the outpatient area, the smell...the hospital smell did it to me. It hit like a ton of bricks...I realized...i was getting surgery..not in a day, not next week...but within the next hour. I checked in, where they began labeling me, what proceedure i was there for, my name, doctor, and branding me with bracelets....i sat in the waiting room with sam and my mom waiting for the nurse to cal my name where she would lead me to my waiting room and where i would change for surgery. I cried....tears were rolling down my cheeks and just when i was about to question whether or not i should be there, the nurse came and called my name....we all followed her to this white room...a hospital bed and TV...and a bathroom. I had to tak off ALL my clothes...and I hate being naked...and I had to put on this hospital gown and just wait till they rolled me away to surgery. I cried even more, Sam and my mum just tried making me laugh, talking to me, and just when i was calmig down and actually smiling, a nurse ame to take me away, away from sam and my mum. We all walked down the hall, till we got to this intersection, and the nurse said "this is here we leave you, you*ll see them again in recovery" I cried so hard as we went through the double doors...it was all happening so fast...i coulsnt have remembered the way i was going if i had to...it was such a blur. I lay there, surrounded by no one, waiting for the burse to out in my IV and all that...i knew it was going to be happening soon and i had little time to prepare. It wasnt as bad as I thought it would be, the burse was cracking jokes, and i fakingly laughed...people were surrounding me, sticking things to me..poking me, drawing lines....and makin me so uncompfortable i could barely breath. I couldnt think....my cheeks were stained with tears...and I was so alone...i felt like i needed to say slow down...one at atime...everyone was talkingot me..nurses doctors...retarded questions....the IV was in...the worst was over...and then i was being wheeled in...i remember thining where are all the hot doctors? and finally i saw one...he was wheeling me in the huge white room where it would happen...i wold be forever changed by this experience. He was straping my arms down and i remember looking at him...and saying "i dont want to die" and then it was over. I awoke in recovery...not feelin anything..i didnt realize what had happened till i looked and saw the other people who were recovering. a nurse came to me and told me over an over how good i dd and asked if i need anything for the pain, i wasnt in pain, but i knew it would be so i said yes. Shots i hate shots, and this point i didnt care, and its a good thing, cuz she came over and game me a shot in the leg of morphine. Alot of people said i would be in pain...and wouldnt be active...i listened...but really its different for everyone. it really is. The IV wasn*t as ad as I thought it would be, abd the pain wasnt either, it uncompfortable. I was taken back to my room and as i was rollin in i remember smiling and seeing my mum in the hallway..i waved and smiled and she said "There*s my baby" All i could think of was two things...when the hell can I pee!!? And where the hell is my cell phone" I was runnin all over the room, nurses walking behind me....prolly suprised of my activity...hell, ididnt feel a thing, I was high on morphine! Hahaha....my hispital experience afterwards was good...I enjoyed my stay alot. Teh nurses were nice as hell and sam stayed there with me till 2AM, we watched DVDs on my laptop and ate tons of candy...i was up walking around...laughing smiling, it was great...i felt like aprincess..and i even had a button for service! I drank about 12 cups of water and 6 glasses of apple juice that night...went to the bathroom like 25 times..and all time record for me lemme tell ya. Hahaha....I am happy...its different...I*m not flat...but i deffinetly lost some...ithink after the bandaging is all gone it will be good....I am so excited to get new clothes and everting, everyyday get better...and I am doing more and more everyday. Sam is taking really good care of me and brandon and i hung out most of the day today...so I am really happy. I have some incredible friends....I got flowers, cards, and many messaged from people wishing me luck and praying for me. It*s a great feeling knowing there are still peopl eout there...who are willingto show there feelings and who are for you. I think my experience was a good one....I am very happy with the results...but if anyone asks me, i am ot going to lie....its a tough decision to make...and its permanent...changing your body for the better surgically is always a risk, and its very frightening at times...most of the time it turns out for the better, as long as you dont get carried away and you are realistic. Pain is involed and no one can tell you what to exactly expect...its something you just have to do on your own and tell yourself to just get through it and cope with it at the best of your ability, and if your as luck as i am..have a few incredible friends to help you along the way to recovery. *Smilez*