it*s time
9:18 AM | 02-19-04
It*s early, like 9:20 or something, I had to stop all fluids and foods at midnight last night, and I won*t be able to have anything til I*m outta surgery. I*m nervous, everything keeps telling me it*s gonna be okay, and to just be cool.....I*m trying to take their advice, really I am. It*s different when it*s happening to you, and I*m scared as hel to be cut up like a virginia ham. Brandon and Sam and maybe Chi are gonna come see me at the hospital...watch me drool...I dunno...they are like the ONLY ones I don*t care what the hell i look like if they see me, them and my mum ofcourse. I can*t beleive it*s today..I can*t beleive after all the research, work, doctors appointments, and therapy, it*s finally here....surgery. Ugh....I really need to be strong and be the bitch I a know I can be and get through this...I know I have great friends and family to take care of mE, it*s just a mental thing with me that I think makes everything so much harder...I just don*t waan go to sleep and enver wake up. I*ll be alright....I*m gonna do this....and I*m gona be okay and happy. I have to be at the hospital at 1, and my surgery starts at 2:30....so pray....and hope everything goes well. One thing i nice, I*m ready for the vacation...wearing pajamas for a week, watching movies, and just being so doped up I wont know what the hell is going on. Hahaha....well I bedder get ready....I luv you guys...and ummm...hopefully I*ll be writing here again after to letcha know how it all went. peace out....XOXOXOXOXO
Am-