scared...
12:33 AM | 01-15-04
Spiders, Needles, & Planes....they scare the hell outta me, for obvious reasons. All of them I have been eventually faced with...sucks! Tomorrow I fly out at 2:20 for detroit which begins me 2 day flying experience pretty much all over the fuhking world. Sucks....weddings suck. No they dont, i just hate flying. I dont appreciate the fact that if somethig goes wrong...theres no hope, like none, howeveer i do remember a guy living in some plane crash all because of a Wisconsin cheese hat he was wearing....dammit...too bad I*m a dieheart lions fan. Anyway, things have been busy, Sam and I have been hangin out lots and getting into everything, havin a blast.
I went out to dinner tonight with sam, erika, and her boyfriend nate. Nate was a prefect boyfriend, talkative, sweet, and very polite, even paid for ALL of our meals, ofcourse i slipped erika a 20 to give to him later, but still. I then thought about how much i missed having a boyfriend, having someone be there to eat with, talk to my friends, and spend time with. I miss doing boyfriend and girlfriend things...but at the same time, i luv being single, wild, and free. It*s so hard, to choose what you want...but, i guess it chooses you, you cant help whho you fall in luv with..and im sure when the perfect one comes along, he will come at the right time in your life when you are ready for that kinda realtionship. Well thats my theory now. haha...
I talked to Sam the other day about if something were to happen to me on the plane, i decided that since i was going to have my nalgene bottle, i would write my last thoughts in it and attatch it to my body, i know this is all really silly, but i feel like i have sooooo much to say and do, i cant imagine my life ending so soon, and now. I worry sometimes, somkedays i wish i were dead, but most, i want and enjoy being alive to experience all the wonders there are in my lil life. My small insignificant life.....i am so nervous...my tummy is rolling....thinking about my brother, he has it all figuired out, getting married saturday, the last sibling to get married...he haas a great job, making over 100 grand, his wife is sucessful, they have a house, they are happy, and then theres me, no clue what the hell i am doing or where i am going. wow....im not even thinking about the wedding, just flying...gawd...what a trip. Well i better get some sleep....i have a long ass day tommorrow...and an even longer week ahead of me....so...farwell....and if i dont ever write again, i guess we*ll know...i am higher in the clouds than you shall be for awhile.
peace....
XOXOXO
*MUAH*
Am-