what I want
19:36:23 | 2000-01-26
I don't exactly know why I am feeling this way but I feel absolutly reched! UGH! I am so sick of being lonely and not having anyone to go to and talk about alkl my problems and litening to theirs. I dunno....its sounds so "not me" I am usually all bubbly and happy, but lately I feel like I am really alone. It's Dave's Birthday today, michelles (best friend) boyfriend. She did all sorts of cute stuff...got him a jacket, baked him a cake. Alot....and it really seemed like she went through a great deal to make him happy. Well, thats what I want....I want to make someone happy, i want to go through the happiness and joys and even the heartaches of a relationship and I can't! Cuz the one i really like doesn't like me. I mean, i know how bad this sounds, but in other peoples eyes, its hard to believe I would be turned down by him....but I am. How can this be? I am constabntly asking myself. And really there is no answer...there is no answer at all. And this is what I am faced to live with. I hate it...and it sux...and maybe I will someday be ahppy, and overwelmed with the feelings of caring for someone. I just hope its soon.