cruise ship to horse back riding to the ER
6:17 PM | 10-18-21

Sit back and let me tell you how life disasters happen in 3's. My husband and I have been planning a vacation for years, and like everyone, covid happened and we had to reformulate our vacation more times than I want to admit. But, after months of mandates, scares, and two psitive covid tests, we were finally off to Alaska for 10 days. Well, that was on September 25th when as we were ready to depart on United airlines when our flight was cancelled and we were too far away to rebook a flight that would get us to the port by 3pm in Seattle. So....we missed our cruise. Completly deffeated....with our suitcases still unpacked sitting in the kitchen, which is exactly where we left them somehow internally knowing, we would try gain...and soon. With no suport or remorse from the airline or cruise company, I reluctantly rebook our entire vacation. This time, we would leave a full 24 hours before we would HAVE to be at the port in Seattle. Everythign went swimingly. We were off on October 2nd one week after we were to cruise at our first attempt at a vacation. We had an amazing time, it was an amazing vacation to say the least and Alaska is quite litterally one of the most beautiful places on this earth, next to Hawaii, IMO. The plan was. to get back on Saturday the 9th and meet up with my family in Seattle for a day or so and leave Sunday back to our normal lives. Saturday was a perfect day, talking and catching up, walking the 17 acre farm and me tryingto persuade Brandon that horses really are gentle giants. I had ridden horses for years when I was younger, even went to equestrian camps to further my riding skills. That, however was years ago.....20+ years ago. So when my cousins wife offered up a quick ride through the trails I jumped at the offer. We rode through the trails of their lovely farm and while I would like to say I felt free, and liek nothing had happened, I was uneasy, but still participated and enjoyed the gentle giants gallops and jaunts. It was when we came to a T in the trails, as I was behind my cousins wife's horse, when my horse, started becoming agitated and began becomig upset. Both A and I knew we had seconds to communicate and i had less than that to prepare for my horse to wildly canter (run as fast as he can) in the wrong direction, down a ravine, completly unsupervised and wrecklessly. In my mind, I was still holding on as I was jolted in the most aggressive manner into the trees, forest, amd thicket. I was alone, scared, and I could not breath.My lung felt calapsed. I was in agony. My shoulder felt broken, my ribs felt cracked, still trying to find my breath....i got the feeling I was going.....faint....until...I let out a moan that I had no control over. A came running and frantic cries came to my aid as she crawled through the trees and bushes. I remeber the dirst falling in my face and moaning so loud but tried to gather my thoughts. I was alive.....but I felt like a total loser. I could ride horses, I did for years, I was telling my body to get up, GET UP......but I couldn't. I lay there in more pain than I had ever suffered in my entire existence. The fire fighters and ambulance had to cut me out and take me to the ER. My memory is completly crushed and destorted. Hands on me, scissors as they cut my clothes liek butter off my body. I lay there naked as strangers touch me and position me so they may X-Ray my sad little body. I am bruised, cracked, and my ego and memory is worse. I am in repair and lucky to be alive and blessed beyond imagine that I have a husband who loves me so that he assists me with everything these days. I know I will heal, but the realization is....I am not 22....my body is no longer 22....I am aging....I can not tell you how it hurts my soul that I have done what trillions have done before me....I have grown older before my eyes and without my knowledge or consent. My heart is broken and I am forced to pick up the pieacs and realize that I am nothing special, and I too, will grow old, my body will wear and tear, and I will need to take time to heal from my injuries. I am 39....my birthday was yesterday...and for as long as I remember, my birthday was not some party that people talked about and still tell hilarious stories about.....it was just...calm....and healing. And with that, the day after my birthday, my husband was let go from a company he loved. Unemployed....the 3rd jab....deep and dragging. I know we will over come this....I know we are strong and will prevail...but...it will take time...and no one, no one at all, can cheat time.

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Time: 6:17 PM
Date: 10-18-21
Eating:Nothing :/
Drinking:H20
Wearing:Clothes, I hope!
Hearing: Typing
Reading: Papers
Chatting w/: No one
Thinking: too much.
Wanting: so much.
PLUG: ILUVU.com

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