5:42 PM | 06-06-09
It*s been one month since I lost my father. I talked about it with my mom briefly and she said it seemed like he had died alot longer ago. I dont know how I feel about it all. Sometimes I wish I had someone in my family that was more sensetive. Someone who would hold me and tell me that they understood what it was like to not have a father. Caress my hair and make me feel better. However in my family and my friends, they just arent liek that. They move on quickly, and they get over/solve thir problems as soon as possible. I think about my Dad often and daily. It unsettling sometimes and I wish I had someone to talk to. I feel that there are so many loose ends and I*m not sure how I am supposed to overcome these types of feelings. Its just hard. A month. A whole month since my Dad died. Thinking back to the traumatic day and the rushing to get home, the delay on the plane, the tears, and everything that went with losing such an important person in my life is just hard to imagine. He's gone.
But, for now I will continue to keep it inside and apart from the world. I will continue to hold my emotions in, and try to out a smile on my face. I just hope my father knows I am thinking of him, and I miss and love him dearly.