new augustana CD is sweeeet
9:51 PM | 06-05-08
Sometimes, after a long day...i will come home and start cleaning. In a weird way though. When i get up for work I usually have clothes strewn throughout my room. But somedays, liek today I will come home to have the desire to pick up my little messes that I have accumulated over the past weeks and put everything away. I lay here wanting to stay awake for many more hours but in reality I cannot. I feel like I have not finished the day and now, i am depressed. Its the blows I am hit with throughout the day that bring me down. And the blows that hit me that i cannot always see that they are going to hit are the worse. Its at night when I realize. So anyway, some things are happening. A guy, we will call him "Roe". Anyway Roe txt me this past weekend and we got talking back and forth when, out of the blue..he called me. After talking about our current lives he out of no where put out an offer...just like that. Let me take you away from there and we can go stay at my beach house for the weekend. Then Tuesday he asked me to go to the yankees game. Even thoguh i couldnt go, i was touched. It's like i forgot how some uys can actually be, nice. So...this weekend is here and I may very well be staying with him. i know, weird. Espechially because, still..i am always thinking about Brandon. i wonder why he wont grow up, why he wont do those kinds of things that someone who has known me for an equivlance of 10 hours will. Branond and i have sych a history that sometimes i just cant let myself move on. I think about if i can just hold on a little longer...maybe he will change. But as erika often tells me, he wont. I question it, because I am a girl of faith. I have faith in myself, and i have faith in other people. It is bitter sweeet...and damning..and blessful. There is never an inbetween. So these are my thoughts....as complicated as they are, i now am tired. nite.