on my own
1:21 PM | 01-14-07
Yesterday, I did something I have never done before. I was on my own. I started my day on Larchmont avenue and walked a few blocks to a quaint lil burrow called "Wraps" It was a lovely sandwich place where I had the daily special (very unusual for me) tuna, some russian sauce that I didnt particulary care for) on a california wrap, it was red(very cool). My intentions we to sit, have lunch and maybe make some calls, (so it looked like I was just too busy to make plans to have lunch with someone) so I had to just eat alone....yah right. Fact is, I dont have any friends to hang out with. yet. Also, if I got really bored i always could resort to those thankyou cards in my bag that I have been putting off for a week to write. I was covered. Anyway, I sat there and realized I didnt need any distractions, i could just sit there, by myself, and people watch. I realized something very interesting too. When you are alone, the world changes. And in a way that I cant explain inless you have actually been alone, eaten alone, and lived in a place where you know no one. You dont have anyone to talk to, so you conversation is silent and you resort to everyone else's conversations for entertainment. I listened silently while eating my wrap as different tables talked among themselves. It was interesting and in a way, funny. I thought about what I must sound liek when I eat with another person and my conversations. Funny.
After I finished my lunch I went along to one of my favorite stores. Ann Taylor. SALE...loves it. I bought a beautiful heather gray sweater that I beleive I will get a great deal of use to. New York is a sweater wearing city in the winter. Another thing I love about this city. Anyway, i then walked down the sidewalks and just looked into store windows filled with different things. Shoes, window drapes, furnishings, ect. Such a cute lil place. I then came across the movie theatre at 2:30 and decided to see a movie. YES ALONE. I bought my own ticket for "Children of Men" and bag of candy ALL TO MYSELF. I didnt feel guilty either, and yes i ate the whole bag! I LOVED every minute of it. Turns out when you are alone, you have your very own agenda. You dont have to ask anyone anything, wether they want to eat, where they want to eat, what they want to eat, what they want to do, followed by a bazillion other questions. Because you see, for that time you have with yourself you have your OWN life, your very own schedule. You answer to no one. I once again, in my travels, found out more about myself. I can live alone. I can eat all by myself, see a movie, and just BE. It's an experience that I urge you all to try, it's a great feelings and accomplishment for me. I know it sounds silly, but i couldnt imagine myself ever being alone like this, but what am I going to do? Never see a movie? Never eat? Sometimes, in our lives, we must choose to be alone, and just be. :) P.S. I finally got to my thankyou cards at Statrbucks, during a delightful Cinnamon Dolche Latte'....all by myself.