why my life sucks
7:03 PM | 12-18-04
my life right now....it seriously at an all time low. Finachially...and this is a forst for me...I am broke. Completly broke. I have no idea how I am going to pay for school, food, bills, rent, anything. Christmas is comming soon and i have to eonder how the hell i am going to pay for anything for my mom (who deserves the world), and my boyfriend. Wht the hell am i going to do? I am so bitter...ive been working like crazy....wondering about dad. He*s in the nursing home now...my evil aunt knows everything about his financing...and my dad is no longer supporting me. I think this is one the worst things a person can go through. Being supported finachially...always having money...living a great lifestyle....to this. having absolutly nothing. I have fuhking nothing. There is no light at the end of this tunnel. Nothing is going to get better....I needed and relied on my dad for alot...mostly finances, i was never turned down....if i needed it i had it...if i wanted it..it was there....and now its not...and most likely never will be again. I am completly confused and saddened. My evil dyke bitch of an aunt has lied about so many things about me it makes me sick. I don*t event alk to her anymore..i sont tlk to my dad anymore either. My mom just called my aunt and was filled with lies from her. Lies my mom know are not true. I just don*t understand how my life could have changed this bas for the worse in one month. What am I going to do.....what am i going to do. I lay awake at night thinking...wondering where i am going to get money...dreaming of money....wondering how i am going to pay bills....my checking account is overdrawn by like 500.00 dollars...my tuition is due January 5th...my loans most likely wont be processed in time. I am so fuhking depressed...zoloft is looking better everyday...so is vohdka. Soon, I will probably be losing my car...maybe my cell phone as well....things i never had to ever worry about are now my obstacles. I*ve never seen a bill in my life...they always went to my parents....credit cards, cell phones, utilities....trips....i never had to pay for anything....everything is so different now. and again...i have to ask..what the hell am i going to do. I have to keep working...going to school...soing as much as i can....and somehow graduate from college...and not be totally insane. piece of cake right...yah my ass....god dammit....is this worth it?