how i thought it would be
8:50 PM | 05-13-04
Ever since i was a lil girl....i thought and planned alot. Well i tried....laying with brandon on the couch i was thinking about what i had planned when someday i would be living with my boyfriend. I gotta say, it*s nothing like i had planned. It*s better. I luv him so much sometimes i just want to hug him so hard so he*ll never have to go away. Planning. It can be good but can be hurtful in some cases. When we plan to leave, stay, or go somewhere. Maybe even do something. Brandon and i pretty much have it planned when we*re gonna break up and sometimes i wonder why in hell i put myself in this position to luv someone who i know is going to leave me someday...i know when it*s going to end...and i know how it*s going to happen. Who dates someone knowing you are going to break up with them and you know how long your relationship is going to last??
It*s like when you first meet someone tere*s always that lingering quetion..."how long is this going to last?" "Maybe it will last forever?" But in reality, nothing lasts forever...and 99% of the time...it never lasts as long as you want it to. I will miss Brandon...i know that my life will never be the same. I nver thought it could be like this, living with someone who you are in love with and actually get along and manage to luv eachother even though somedays, they are the only person you see, or correspond with. It has taught me a GREAT deal about luv, relationships, feelings, and time. Time should never be wasted...it*s MUCH harder to actually take advanatge of the time you have with a person than say it. Counting down the days..till this fairy tale is over.