12:10 AM | 02-18-04
Ever think about things, certain moments in your life that you have planned out, maybe only parts, and lok forward to actually living them?? I thought alot about those things driving home today. My wedding, meeting someone special, graduating from college, all that....and then it occured to me....what if it never happens?? I am so scared....I am so scared I am going to die in surgery..I know I know, I*m overreacting...everything will be fine...Im just a scared. So scared....I have so much to do in my life and so much to see....i just dont want it to end...and i want this surgery....so bad...i just a afraid, afraid of the pain...afraid of everything that will happen after. Ugh, I*m being so silly about this...just scared....Mum is comming here tomorrow and we are doing some shopping....then, i cann the hospital for my admittance time for thursday....holy hell, never thought this day would come....and soon, it*ll be here.