11:53 PM | 01-05-04
There comes a time in a person*s life where their questions asked are immediatly followed with the answer they didnt desire. This answer most likely is....NO. I heard it today, and as much as I squirmed and tried, whimpered, and pouted....it didnt change. It happens....and I have to live with it. So here i am...and now, I am taking a semester off of school. I will have to give back my beloved laptop to my school, but i get to buy a brand new Dell laptop :) YAY...and may even be lookin at the J word.
J-O-B...something i havnt really looked into for the past couple years. It happens.....I dont wanna get fat, or too poor, so I must do soemthing with my time.
Last night, talking to my EX EX Jared, whom I have remained very good friends with, asked me something that didnt mean as much then as it does now. He asked if I had ever thought about Jason. Jason, the one boy in my life that truely and brutally broke my heart. My answer to Jared..."not a day goes by" He lingers in my mind about once....I think about out memories and how I was sooo incredibly compfortable with him. When you become compfortable in a relationship, it*s hard to move on and become compfortable with yourself and just yourself again. I think that8s what took me so long to get over him. I hung out with BAD and Blake today...went to lunch and talked...BAD apparently wants to take some classes so I am helping him tomorrow. Its seems so easy, to just forgive someone of everything....it is to me atleast. He doesnt deserve it. Tomorrow, if he keeps his plans with me, i plan to talk to him...lately, i have noticed after our christmas day disaster, he has no longer sweet to me. He brutal, mean, beats on me, and when he leaves, i feel like shit. I dont know what is going on with me...I dont know what is goin on with him, but as of right now, i have all the time in the world to figure it out.