FUHK THIS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
8:37 PM | 01-03-04

about 4 hours ago, I was in an okay mood....after the 50 dollar thing, i was pretty excited....3 hours, a trip to blockbuster, and numerous episodes of Sex&theCity, I am bitter. I do not understand why in the hell guys can be such god damn pricks and get away with it!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! DAMMIT! I litterally wanna take some people (guys) and make them a girl, with feelings for one day!!!!!!!!!!!! They would never act liek such selfish assholes again. I mean christ, sometimes I think they do it, just because they can. What the hell is this world comming to? Everytime I say "I*m done" I go right back to it!!!!!! Ehich, makes me pissed of at them, and even more pissed off at myself. I swear....i get soooo pissed....I am still waiting for my mum*s lil theory to come around..."What comes around goes around" WHEN THE FUHK IS THAT GONNA HAPPEN!!!!!!!!!!!???????????? GRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR.......arranged marriages should become finalized and used in all cities....then you could spend the rest of your life balming your parents for your relationships other than yourself. When will i learn, that when you meet an asshole....QUIT fuhking trying to save the planet and save his soul, save the time and effort and let him carry on being his selfish bastard self...without you. That*s the best advice....i*m serious! I always try and be fuhking wonder woman here and thinking I*ll be that "one" who changed their life forever and made them a better person, when REALLY, i*m jusy another bitch inthe crowd that fell for the same lame lines he used on the bitch before...i*m No diffferent than the rest...and THAT*S UNEXCEPTABLE>>>>!!!!!!!!!!!!! Everyone deserves more than that..........so in closing...SCREW MEN, SCREW THEIR FUHKING HEARTS...THEY*RE NOTHING BUT LYING< CHEATING< LIL BASTARDS THAT DONT CARE ABOUT ANYONE ELSE BUT THEMSELVES!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! But, enough drama, I guess when I*m settled down, calm, and acting the age I am....what really hurts me the most is pretty silly, and the reason it hurts, is because I*m not familar with it. I have a crush...I know it cant develop into a relationship...I know I dont actually have TRUE feelingins gor him, its the chase...and i just am frusterated because I feel like I am nevr going to get to the finish line. All my life, every guy that I seriously wanted, I got, and every boyfriend i had I dumped, until Jason..and that relationship hurt me the most...why? Becuase I wasnt familiar to the heartbreak. And with this, I*m nto familiar with the turn down, the inevitable. We arent suppposed to be toether, we wont different things, and we are in totally different places in our lives....I dont need him, he8s just nice to have around sometimes...so, I guess...now that I am calmed down, all my tears are really tears that I have not cried before, its disappointment, a lil heartbreak, and feelings I havnt felt before...but it is just a crush....its rejection...and its something WE ALL have to deal with at one poitn or another.

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CuRrEnTlY
Time: 8:37 PM
Date: 01-03-04
Eating:Nothing :/
Drinking:H20
Wearing:Clothes, I hope!
Hearing: Typing
Reading: Papers
Chatting w/: No one
Thinking: too much.
Wanting: so much.
PLUG: ILUVU.com

<< T0DAY I*m feelin'
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