R.I.P. Sasha
10:18 AM | 12-31-03
I couldnt sleep last night. I was up at 5AM talking to BAD...not sure why. Nothing was said. I had a great dream though.....and then a dream my brother was killed. I didnt understand why...until my mum called at 9AM to ask me what Todd*s sisters names were. I told her....Sasha, his baby sister was killed yesterday in a car accident. Todd had left a message at home on my answering machine last night...but my mum had no idea who it was..."Hi, i need to know who to get a hold of amy" is all it said. I called Todd this morning...and he picked up....all I could say was "Todd I am so sorry" we bot started crying. He was at the airport on his way home. He*ll be home tonight at 5:30, I*m leaving tomorrow to go home as well. I can*t even imagine what this must be like for his family and him. Hearing him cry and being posistive was so weird.. I just dont understand. He said he saw her at christmas for the last time and said something thhat i just couldnt agree with. He said that she had gotten the best christmas gift ever, heaven. I know it is a gift for her, but what about everyone else? There Holiday is ruined, their lives are forever changed, and nothing will ever be the same again. Why Todd...why his family, and why did god decode to take Sasha? 18 years old....18. It*s all over the news....and I couldnt figure out why I couldnt sleep last night. I have so much on my mind...everything is just swirling, and BAD...that fuhking asshole....I swear he doesnt make it any better...he is sooooo bitter towards me. I can*t figure out guys anymore. You think they dont like you, but really they do...then they dont, and you do...then you*re mad at eachother but you really wanan see them. So fuhkdup. I dont even care right now, I care about Todd...and his family. I told Todd I loved him and that if he needed anything he can call me day or night. I feel so useless. I wanna bring her back, but i can*t. Ugh....i just feel empty and numb. I feel liek I have to call everyone and tell them to be careful and that i luv them. I just feel like there isnt enoug i can do to make it go away. emptiness. life goes on though....as hard as it may. it does.
I forgot about this song for a few years, forgot how much i liked it. So, in h onor of the new year approaching, here are the lyrics.
This years love had better last
Heaven knows it's high time
And I've been waiting on my own too long
But when you hold me like you do
It feels so right
I start to forget
How my heart gets torn
When that hurt gets thrown
Feeling like you can't go on
Turning circles when time again
It cuts like a knife oh yeah
If you love me got to know for sure
Cos it takes something more this time
Than sweet sweet lies
Before I open up my arms and fall
Losing all control
Every dream inside my soul
And when you kiss me
On that midnight street
Sweep me off my feet
Singing ain't this life so sweet
This years love had better last
This years love had better last
So who's to worry
If our hearts get torn
When that hurt gets thrown
Don't you know this life goes on
And won't you kiss me
On that midnight street
Sweep me off my feet
Singing ain't this life so sweet
This years love had better last
This years love had better last
This years love had better last
This years love had better last
Written by David Gray
1998