8:54 PM | 11-17-03
Ever think something, and have a opinion about whatever the situation may be, and then say it...out loud, and think something totally different. It*s liek when people ask me why I don*t have a boyfriend....I always say I never want one, but in the end...when I actually say it, and hear myself say it, I realize something totally different. I really do want a boyfriend.....maybe not just 10 really good guy friends. There is so much to work on with me. You know how sometimes you can tell yourself that you are going to improve yourself on something. Like....maybe your education, or love life...or a relationship. The thing is with me, I need to work on so many things in my life...desperatly.
1. My friendships
2. My emotions
3. My luv life
4. My Education
6. My finacial duties
7. My body
JUST to name a few. How is anyone supposed to improve on so many things in their life. I know the world wasn*t built in a day. But I keep wandering off in class asking myself one question. "If you could be anywhere, with anyone, soing whatever you wanted, where,who,what??"
Most people, and I*m pretty sure 99%, would have quick answers....I have none. I honestly do not know where I stand...or where I am standing. I know it*s not firm ground. So then I have to ask, am I just taking up useless space, and should I really be here. Am I waiting to be picked off.. We learned about Vegitation today in Biology, about selective vegetation, evolution. How only the fittest of the animals species made it theough evolution. The ones with the not so good apendiges and weren*t as "strong" as the others were killed and eventually died off. is this how it is with the world? Am I a species that is waiting to be picked off? I can*t imagine myself not being strong...but I guess in many cases I*m not. How can I not pull through this??
Some words by me:
I*m going to school and I have no idea why, guess that makes me an educated loser.