8:14 PM | 07-14-03
So.....this winter, I*m finally going through with it. I*m getting a breast reduction. Don*t get all weird....I know this is a touchy subject for alot of people. Espechially my friends and guys I know. "What the HELL are you doing Amy!?" "Do you know how many people would kill to have those!?" I hear this too much. I*m ready, ready for it to be better. So, I start with going to appointments. ALOT of appointments. Chiropractors, Physical therapy, and all that mumbo jumbo. Why? Cuz I have to show that I am trying to resolve my chronic back and neck pain before I get the sugery and so my insurance will pay for it. It*s kinda a pain, but if you do the time, they*ll pay for it. Yah-hoo. So thats whats going on currently.
Also, still going nuts about what my dental hygenisist said. It just echos. I*m 40, and I never met my soul mate. What a horrible position to be in. Searching your whole life, working hard, and wishing upon dozens of falling stars that you*ll meet your soul mate and never meeting them. Whats worse? Being married to a guy who isn*t your soul mate. I*m sorry but it breaks my heart, and my mum telling me "Amy, that will never happen to you." I question it, because whenever someone seems to tell me my life can*t get any worse or that*ll never happen to you, it somehow seems to happen. Slip through the cracks and bite me in the ass. Just like how after 2 years my boyfriend cheated on me ont he 4th of July, just like when I got an MIP, wreckless driving, and leaving the scene of an accident, or how bout losing the next guy who asked me out, was killed in a fire. It never ends.
I still don*t know what I wanna do. I wonder why I am even here. My mum reminds me I can*t be a profession college student. I responded: "I*d be a damn good one" She didn*t find it funny. I know what I wanna do, I just dont know how to do it. So I*m here, at a school with no options, in a major...I am quickly losing interest in, and in a place that seems so small, and getting smaller by the day. I feel smothered, and terribly confused by it all. I wish there was a person I could go to, and ask...what should I do? What is in my best interest at this present time? I need a PA (personal assistant)...haha...okay...I*m going...peace