boys don*t cry
2:14 PM | 07-12-03
I went and got my teeth cleaned yesaterday and talked to me favorite dental hygentist. She just turned 40, is tan, and I swear looks exactly like Faith Hill. She is someone I wish I could be like, and when I was young wished she was my mum. She has everything, she has a beautiful house, a wealthy husband, she was queen at Ferris State Univ., she has abbs of steel, and has this sence of style that is just so "In". I admire everything about her. I tell her all about my old boyfriends, my break-ups, my crushes, and she always gives me the best advice. She is so strong, and really has been through everything.
Today was different. Somewhere in the middle of talking about biker boys, concerts, and being happy, I got the feeling she was otherwise. She kept saying there are going to be big changes when she hits 40. And then, she said something that hurt more more than I could ever imagine. She said she was turning 40, and still hasn*t met her soulmate. If I wasnt lying there under the bright light I would have cried. Thise are such sad words. How do people have such sucessful and beautiful lives and never meet their soulmate. I felt so sorry for her. I hurt for people like her, who are stuck in a relationship wondering if they will ever find that person who they were "meant to be" with. It*s depressing and unfair. Whether it is my hygenisist, or any other person. And then it makes me wonder, will I end up like that. Searching for my soulmate. I think that*s why break-ups and heartaches hurt so bad. It*s not about losing the person, its not about giving up with you had. It*s about the disappointment, and the starting over again. We*re all searching for that one person we are supposed to be with, and unfortunetly we have a time limit, and sometimes we have to give-in to someone else, who isn*t "the one". It breaks my heart, and it makes me think about all those guys and people that I meet that could be special and I might of never noticed. I guess it teaches me, to look at people a little bit more deeper, a little more friendlier, and take the time to get to know someone. I think my mum is right, we never do really ever fall in luv till we meet that one person we are meant to spend the rest of our lives with. She told me that there are ALOT of feelings that feel like luv and sometimes we dont want to identify the difference. We beleive it*s luv because of how desperate we are to not be alone, and, to be happy, luved. My mum also said that when you do fall in luv, you won*t care about anything else, but being with that person, you won*t care about what people think, moving, leaving, doing whatever it takes to be together, because everything will seem right. I think that*s what people are desperatly waiting for, and who can blame them, in a world that seems so cruel and harsh. We secretly are wanting to just find them, that one special person that makes everything "right".