mistakes??
3:44 p.m. | 2003-01-21
I think there*s alot of things in my life I never should have done. In Ethics, I think alot. I think alot about things. Why things happen, what caused them. I dunno what it is about that class but it get my mind racing. I keep thinking that there are these paths in every situation, and without knowing you are given a choice to make your way down one of them. One is right, and one is not necessesarily wrong, but it*s harder to manage through. I wonder what my map of my life would look like. How many wrong turns have i made. Right now it feels like I made so many rights or lefts, I*m doing circles. When a person loses something dear to them, I think it takes a peice of them away, and sometimes I feel liek I don*t have many more peices left. Jason*s mom sent my mom a letter last week. My mom kept it for me and brought it to me this past weekend. I never told anyone. My mom I think its the only one who knows I am not over jason, still. When I think about how stupid I am, I just get so blank inside. I have this feeling, that I know I have lost him. His parents still think well of me, miss me, and still have that warmth I miss. Things are so messed up sometimes. I never want to be close to anyone ever again. For fear that I will lose them eventually. I will lose them again, and again, till there is no one. Lonliness can kill a person, heartbreak can do the same sometimes. Both has happened....