Shopping @ 7AM
6:57 p.m. | 2002-11-29
Everyone talked to me yesterday about the biggest shopping day of the year. They told me the details, the great sales, and when exactly the doors would open. Ofcourse I said i wouldn*t be caught dead. I had this attitude right up until 7AM feelings soon changed when my mom came banging on my door for me to get up and go shopping. Never thought I*d be awake to see the day when I would actually drag my ass outta bed and go shopping. But I did, and I*m glad. Shopping makes me feel better. Mom knows that. And no matter how mad i was feeling last night, with partied going on that I knew I*d be at if I was with Jason, I still stayed home. I don*t want to see him. Ever. So I went with my mom doing the best thing ever when you*re in a bad mood. Shop. The lines were huge, I wittnessed mothers fighting over video games, people lining up for 12 feet just to get the hell out of the store. Through it all I had a good time. I miss him, still. I keep telling everyone I never want to see him...but I do. I want him to look at me and realize we never shoulda broke up. I want that feeling back, I miss it more than ever now. It*s gonna get worse. I keep wondering what I*m gonna do over christmas. I wonder about new years and what i*m supposed to do at midnight. i8ve always had a boyfriend. Always, and now I don*t. And I don*t exactly know what I*m supposed to do. I keep womdering if he sees me with no one by my side will that mean I*m a complete loser? Gawd...I hate to settle for someone who just isn*t well, meant for me to. This stuff is hard, it*s blocking my head and making thin gs cloudy. I better go, Billy called and iw as thinkin of going to the hockey game w/ him and bobby. Hope Jason isn*t there. later
xoxoxo
Am-