getting to the tough stuff
11:53 p.m. | 2002-02-11
It's almostvalentines day and umm....Imailed Jason's cards last Saturday to make sure he'd get them byvalentines day and I was planning to surprise him but I have got to go home...Ifeel bad but my family needs me...AND considering Jasonjustrealized today that valentines day is comming up...he thought it was in like two weeks. I like yah...maybe. I played it cool but gawd i hope he knows. Ijustcare about a $2.47 card on thatday from the one you love. Ijustdo, and maybe thatasking too much but Idunno...I'm a tough girl to live with. Anyway, skewl is getting tough and Ithink I am getting a tutor for GC164. I think Iamsuch a dumbass...day after day I get more confused in that class and inever know what the hell I am doing. Totop off everything, my space bar is broken on my freakin computer. Another thing, Ihave to talk about this weekend. Itwas quite a weekend. jason and I, (for those whoare clueless, he's my boyfriend) anyway, he plays hockey, and has been playing on this league team since he was like 5. Same players, same parents, same everything. It meant alot to him that Iwas there. The UP (upper peninsula of Michigan) finals were last weekend and let me tell you it was LONG! I loved spending time with Jason dont get me wrong but gawd...double headers every day all of em at 8:00 in the damn moening on a weekend! ONe game Friday, they won...Saturday, twogames..won both...Sunday...semichampionships (morning)...won...they were the only team to be undefeated...then they ended up playing the team they already won to in the championshipgam. After yelling, ringing cow bells, and jumping like crazy it was over. Theyhad lost....Iwatched each player recieve their medal, some toe them up on the ice, some didnt even skate to get them...Jason did. He skated his lastgame got his medal and I just stood their with the many parents by my side and the yelling of the opposing team. It's a heartbreaker I'mtelling you...but I knew Ihad to be strong. Jason was the last to come out of the locker room, his parents were getting antsy and wondering what he was doing. I knew all along. He was letting it go. He was lettin the game go thathe had always known. It's tough....Itwas hard on me because soon I knew it was time for me to say goodbye too. He had to go back to school and so did I. Jason came out and he said goodbye to his parents fast. Ifollowed him to his car and without anywords Itook him in my arms. I held him for as long as Icould. Iwiped his tears thate held from his parents and younger beothers. I kissed himand told him I couldnt be more prouder. I was peoud of Jason because he had the courage to let the game be apart of him. He played the game and he played it well, but, as we allknow there is always a time that you must let it go. I remember the last time Iskated....Iused to always lay on the ice and smell the ice. it's something only few can understand. I dont know what Jason had to let go but I know it was important to him and thats all that matters. He means alot to me and I will always be here for him no matter where I am or where I am going to school. Well thatwas my weekend...long...my calves are still burning from standing and jumping on those crummy bleachers. UGH....Iwill never forget that sundaynight though with Jasonin my arms and me trying with all my heart to hold my own tears to be strong for the guy I love....glad Iwas there....no where else I would be.