This was better
10:14 a.m. | 2001-05-29

NOTE: The following is a paper that I turned infor for school. I thought it would be cool if I shared it with you considering its about my last days.

There are only two times in my life that I have truly been afraid. Once, when my Mother saw my Biology grade, and second is my graduation this year from High School. There are so many stages I have passed through to arrive at this day in my life. This year it seems like I have learned more about myself and others than any other year. I have learned a lot about people in general and myself. I have noticed that I am capable of doing what sometimes feels like the impossible. I took a class this year that intimidated me so much in the beginning. Senior English, with Mr. Smith, was one of the scariest things I had to face this year, and, to be honest, I dreaded it. Heading to the class on the first day with my heart in my throat, was something I did not want to do. But after a few days of learning the material and the standards set, things got to be a lot easier. I knew what was expected of me and felt down deep inside that I could do it. This year I had to work. I have written more papers, more journal writes, and put forth more effort than ever before. This is somewhat a sad thing because I have realized my capabilities a little late, but at least now I know what I can do when I put my whole heart into something. I kept my grades up and I worked hard. I realized that if I work hard, I am capable of acheiving more than I ever thought possible. It all catches up with you. You always get a reward for what you have put into something. This year, without a doubt, for me, has been more about a self discovery. I have found that no matter what road I chose to take I can always change my mind and take another path. The quote I like to think of is Wealth I ask not, hope nor love, Nor a friend to know me; All I ask, the heaven above And the road below me by Robert Stevenson. I think about that quote and realize that no matter what I chose to do I will always have a road to take, and a place to go, no matter what. Right now I think I need some sort of security - Security that helps me to know that I am not alone and at the same time allows me to discover exactly what I want in my life. I realize that I am on a long journey of self discovery and my graduating is only a small step in my long journey, my road to self discovery. I like the song by Graham NashYou, who are on the road, Must have a code that you can live by. And so become yourself. Because the past is just a good-bye. This quote is an excellent one. It makes methink about everything I seem to be losing but yet I know I am gaining much more. I have gained so many useful tools this year in my writing and in my many classes that willm build on my self capabilities. The lessons that I have learned, the goals I have set and achieved, will forever be with me. They will always influence me to be a better person and better at whatever I do decide to do. It is memories and lessons like that I will never forget. I found a quote online that was great.... "Sooner or later we all discover that the important moments in life are not the advertised ones, not the Birthdays, the Graduations, the Weddings, not the great goals achieved. The real milestones are less preprossessing. They come to the door of memory." That quote says it all...The memories that I have shared with my class of 2001 and the rest of my friends and family so far will forever be in my mind. I know people different now, and I guess Ive changed too. and things that I thought were right...I know were wrong for me and others. For a while I didn't know if I changed in a way I liked. I lost so much..but I think Ive gained more. I am being optimistic on this one...Im hoping that later on, it will all pay off.....I know people differently now...I know myself differently. I like people now for who they are not for who they are striving to be. This goes for me too. Everyone is striving to be someone....everyone is striving for something. I guess its just the way you decide to go for it that makes you different from everyone else. That's what makes us special...that's what makes us different. This weekend many things will be changing in my life. I will finally be graduating from high school. I just want people to know that no matter where life takes you, big cities, small towns, you'll inevitably to come across small minds, people who think they're better than you are, people who think that material things or being pretty or popular automatically makes you a worth while human being. Well, none of these things matter unless you have a strength of character, integrity, a sense of pride. And if you're lucky to have any of these things, don't ever sell them. Don't ever sell out. So when you meet a person for the first time, please don't judge them by their station in life, because who knows, that person just might end up being your best friend. today is my last day of High School....Ill be carrying two things with three rolls of film...and a box of Kleenex to dry my many tears. Today Im letting go...or beginning to. Ill say goodbye to the teachers I have always known...I will close my locker for the last time and I will cry....I will wear my cap and gown like we always do...I will yell after every period and scream how many hours are left in the day. I will hug my friends...and I will cry again. I will buy my graduation tickets, and I will write out a few more senior pictures with never enough room to say what you want to say. And after it is all over...I will cry...and then I will smile...because I will know that even though people may think I have not earned it...I know in my heart I have earned the right to graduate with my class of 2001. I have earned the tears and the good-byes from my peers from so long. This is it and I know Im not ready...but you know...who ever is? To think about how Ive changed, how much Ive learned, even in a day, and how little everything else seems sometimes is simply overwhelming. When I was younger, it seemed like I knew which lines to draw, and always knew what to do or say. But soon I'll be graduating from High School, and nothing is sure thing. And I don't really care. There is so much out there to fall in love with. In Robert Frost, I might have taken the path less travelled..but also, like Robert has made all the difference.

DiRty StuFf || All ClEaN!!


ConTacT Me
AIM: happylilbunny17

Time: 10:14 a.m.
Date: 2001-05-29
Eating:Nothing :/
Wearing:Clothes, I hope!
Hearing: Typing
Reading: Papers
Chatting w/: No one
Thinking: too much.
Wanting: so much.

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Meter Thanx for commin!! *MUAH*
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