22:00:10 | 2000-10-09
At 17....I*ve gotten drunk from champagne once, skinny dipped 6 times, and been truly afriad for my life twice....Once when I was 12 sledding down mount ripley and not being able to stop, and once during my sophmore year when my mom saw my biology grade. But today I was more scared from nothing then ever in my life.....sounds confusing but even more so when I try and sort everything out. Today i was in Art II sitting by the window (as usual) by Christian, and I just took a moment from what seemed like 5 seconds but was really 20 minutes, i looked out the window and felt the sun so warm on my face I began to think about the future and how I really have grown up this summer....i dunno...some where between running out of the doors the last day of skewl my junior year, traveling to CA, and meeting my so-called soul mate.....I grew up....things now, from what they were before are not nearly as important as they once were. Things like being at every party on the weekend, drinking till you drop, having loads of money, and having 20 bazillion friends (that aren*t really) are not really there...like important. I have 7 good friends....and i heard somewhere someday that if you can count a friend for every finger on your hand than thats all you need...well I*ve got 5 fingers and more than five friends and to me thats lucky. I am more focussed on skewl and much more focussed on whats important to me, and to those I love. i guess i always knew that...but never really applied myself to care that much....i love being reckless...i love being the bad gurl that I am...but i do have a good side...a side where i can be smart, intellectual, funny, and smile at any given time. I like that.....alot. It doesn*t matter if i*m having a bad day....it doesn*t matter if i miss a cheerleading practice....it doesn*t matter if people don*t want to get to know me for the fear they may actually like me, it matters that I am who I am...my enemies will still be there and my friends, my real friends will still be there for me, as I will for them. Today, was normal....and when this thought is over the bell would had already rung...but the presence will still not be forgotten tis why I am writing it now.