20:03:37 | 2000-08-10
Have you ever done something that you totally and utterlly regretted just minutes after? If not, you will...and if you have, then you will totally understand what i am about to write. Before I begin and really begin, I would just like to appoligize for not writing, and if any of these entries confuse you, well they confuse me too....and smile and pretend you know exactly what i*m talking about, for no one I have yet to meet has ever been able to keep up with my thoughts.
Early this morning I was talking to Jared on the phone (as usual) I was tired....very tired and my muscles hurt incredibly from werking out and lifting all day. So, as it happened we hung up and I lay in my bed thinking of my last thoughts before I drifted off to sleep. I usually don*t remember my thoughts but last night I did....i thought about the stars and I thought about Jared...it was weird...my bed is like under window...i can lay there and look out my window and just stare. I don*t know exactly what I was thinking but within the minutes of my tired eyes closing I realized alot....alot of things finally caught up with me, doubt, school starting again, and lonliness....the more I thought and wondered the less i remember....and so I feel asleep, to the blinking of my clock of 11:54....I immediately woke up and ran down stairs, grabbed my uniform and went to werk to realize i was late...werk sucked...and i felt many times i was going to faint....It was either the heat or i didn*t get enough sleep....either way or reason I had to get outta there so I begged and begged and I got off at 3:00. That was nice....I then went home to find the mail waiting for me as my mom shook a letter with what I knew exactly what it had in it. Pictures from Ohio...pictures of jared and me...I finally got it...I tore it open and the rest is history and I*m sure you are not interested. Just a quick recap, I went to CA this summer and then to Ohio to see Jared...it was awesome any way I look at it or try to. This entry makes no sence what so ever and i realize that after ever werd I type but these are my thoughts...in every way mentionable. A minyte ago, I did something i regretted...I ate potato chips and as I was rubbing my eye my green contact fell out of my eye, without thinking i put it back i my eye...and with that I cried and screamed....*OUCh* talk about regret. I must go.....