I will remember you
19:42:47 | 2000-05-03
I*m bawling right now....I*m listening to "I will remember you" by Sarah M...don't even ask me how to spell her last name. Let me tell you about my week. I finally asked buck to prom...he said yes, but Trina is kinda mad at me....well hopefuly after 8 months she is over buck...I know no one can ever be totally over a realtionship but I hope she can cope with it. I don't like buck. Ethan from werk is quiting...his last day is June 16th. I will miss him....I will miss todd when he leaves. I honestly don't know what I'll do. I am so sad....It's like I just started werking at TB yesterday....I remember walking in so scared and trying to act cool. Now, everyone is leaving and i am the one staying behind...I'll be the oldest one werking soon. Not the oldest in age but the longest one whos been werking there. Geeze...Tonight I watched the last episode of "party of five" I watched that show ever since I was like twelve. It was a great show....all about family, and yes sometimes I got annoyed but the fact that they had a family, the good 'ol salengers. Rosie O'donnel loves that show, she always talks about them on her show. I also remember when they had like 10 episodes that were so bad....not in the acting but just everything in the show went wrong. Then they got good...really good. The show ended well....I cried through most of it and through the end I couldn't help from thinking about Todd and how things do eventually change. I thought about me graduationg next year and the people who are graduating this year. I have soooooo many memories and thoughts I can not even begin to think of them all. I know they're there but I can't help from wondering if they will fade as the years goes by. I think about Todd leaving and I picture in my head how it will be. I remember the night when we talked and everything came out. I like the boy, I have had a crush on him ever since I met him....and I gues there is alot to be said about him and alot I need to say to him, and I will...when the time is right. I think people who mean something to me should have the right to hear what I havw to say, even if they don't want to...and even though these situations are how things are...doesn't always make them right. I say that because there are alot of things i should have said to people but didn't....and I can't say how much I regret that. Because now, I am struggling to find the words and the rime to tell them now. I wish i coulda have told my grandma how much I appreciated her love and company, I wish I woulda grabbed todd that night and actually told him how I felt about him, I wish that someday I will be compfortable with myself to express to the people I love what I mean and what I feel at the moment it occurs. None of this may make sence and maybe it never will...but to me, it werks and this is what I have. It is inside of me and it is what sometimes keeps me going. I'll continue each day, breath in and out, and sometimes wonder if someone is thinking about me. This is me...for now....and this is how I will continue to face the day and the people who will continue to change and make an impact in my life. Thank-you....and I love you.....